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FOMO — a silly-sounding word if you ask me, almost sounds like the name of a bear indigenous to some island — unfortunately, this bear if I may call it, has occupied an island of its own in the hearts and minds of most people in our generation. For the unprecedented, FOMO stands for Fear of Missing Out.

So, what exactly triggers FOMO?

Like the title suggests, pretty much anything — from watching an IG story of someone eating momos and feeling that bear gnawing at your heart to seeing a snap of someone having the absolute time of their life or, so it may seem, at a party — the more such content you consume, the more you feed that bear inside you.

A potpourri mix of feelings like exclusion, self-loathing, and envy. It may sound funny but has quite a heavy impact on the mental health of young social media users. But is FOMO something of a recent development? — well, it’s always been around but it was only really “noticed” since social media took off and why is that you ask?

To put things into perspective, as human beings we might have all had that occasional “Jaa Simran Jaa! Jee le Apni Zindagi!” moment, a fear of not living life to the fullest but this was never actually fed with constant notifications and information about all the things we are missing out on each day — exactly opposite of which is happening right now.

As a result, you’re never even in the “now” — instead, you’re constantly traveling with your new bear friend (albeit a toxic friend) to unrealistic possibilities where you COULD have been doing this, where you COULD have been doing that, to meadows which always seem greener on the other side and to possibilities that will make you resent your present!

And as it happens- the bear’s always prodding you on — to make sure you’re constantly updated about everything that’s happening around you, now, how do I say it … FOMO’s like that aunty in your neighborhood who wants to know everything about what’s happening everywhere. And that’s probably also why this neighborhood aunty-bear specimen (God knows what else I’ll make of this “creature” until I near the end of my blog) has now become a part of us that we’re not able to let go of since we’re constantly feeding it with the very things that make it grow: notifications that remind us what’s happening always, stories so that you can now keep an almost daily tab of people’s lives and a feed which runs on an algorithm whose very purpose is to get you addicted to it.

So how do you ask the bear to leave when poori kaynat lagi hui hain ki yeh bear hamesha hamesha ke liye tumhare saath heen rahein ? Kaynat ko Badal do — or to make it a bit less dramatic — change your world from seeing the highlights of people’s lives on your social media feed to appreciating the small moments in your real life and while this is easier said than done what does help is practicing gratitude journaling — it could be something as small as eating rajma chawal for lunch (and thank god, not baingan ka bharta instead!) to something eventful like getting a promotion at work.

It’s important to recognize that social media is the element of the loop — the more you use it the more FOMO you feel and more FOMO you feel the more often you feel like checking your social media in order to stay “connected and updated” when really, you’re just circling within the loop.

But what If you barely use social media — can you finally stop that bear from inhabiting your mind?

I wish I could say yes but I can’t — FOMO is like any other ‘emotion’ — happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, anxiety — a mix of all these really, making it more complex than each of them on their own and while social media usage does ensure that you don’t get to see this bear often, it is bound to crop up at some points in your life if not most — observe the bear, acknowledge and accept it, most importantly don’t feed it and you might just become friends with this bear (and not the toxic friendship kind).

Now here’s where it gets interesting. When it comes to overcoming something difficult, we always think that we HAVE to take the most difficult steps to fix our issues.

But why tho?

Okay, if you find yourself in a position of major FOMO, when you finally slump into your bed after an uneventful day, instead of being anxious about the things you see online, completely change your perspective.

You don’t have to compare yourself to the things that you see online. Instead, learn to embrace your surroundings. This basically means feed your bear with something sweet and not the vinegar that just aggravates it. Once you free up your mind from the negative feelings that FOMO inculcates, only then will you be able to live in the moment.

How?

Digital Detox: If you ask me, I’d tell you to find the farthest socket in your house to plug your phone in. You do not have to always be connected. Trust me, you can do without knowing what your friends ordered for dinner.
Live in the now: The fact that you constantly go through the selfies you took in 10th will not change that you can’t fit in those clothes anymore. Basically, start to notice the things around you. Live in the present. Do you want your future self to look back at you looking back at you in 10th grade? NO!

Experience Real life: Make a phone call instead of texting them. Dance to music instead of just looking at music videos. Socialize with your family finally! Spend time acquiring healthy content that benefits your present self. You’re basically getting your bear to try tofu instead of meat! It’s going to take some time! Let it!

Unfollow triggers: Okay, it’s obvious that you can’t completely shut out social media, but what you can do is unfollow all those pages or people who trigger the feelings of FOMO in you. Do a health check-up of your feed and you’ll feel better when you see things that you want to and not what the platform wants you to.

In order to put our bear to permanent hibernation, let’s worry about missing out on things in real life and not on social media.